"You can't do that...", No YOU can't do it.....I am already halfway done!

One thing I know about myself is that nothing pisses me off faster than someone telling me that I can't do something, especially when it comes to my horse. I am a pretty chill person most of the time (unless I have had too much coffee) so when someone tells me I can't do something, my outside voice says "Yeah, you are probably right." or "Maybe". Meanwhile, my inside voice says "What do you mean I can't do that?!?!?!?. Just because YOU can't do it, doesn't mean I can't do it. So, go ahead regale me with your tails of things I can't do, because I have an open slot for you my 'I told you I could, so shut the f**k up' list."

Needless to say, I get a little touchy about it. Now, I am not high on drugs. I don't think that as a 5'0" woman that I am going to be able to dunk a basketball on a regulation hoop or that I can survive a fall of a high rise. Everyone has very real limitations in life, but my goal is to overcome the limitations that are only in my head.  If this journey with Fiona has taught me anything, it is that many of the things I thought I could never do with her, were all in my head. I mean I wasn't even sure I could ride this horse and now I goal for the year is to go on a trail ride! It's crazy.

Despite the VERY long delay between this post any my last, not much has really changed, but it seems like so much has. Bad news, I have gained back pretty much all the weight I had lost and I am desperately trying to turn into that skid. Good news, Fiona will get in a trailer now!!! She still has some concerns, but she will get in!Also, we re-entered the park of evil!! We rode out there on the end of a lunge line and we are working our way closer to traffic this week in our lesson. Prayers everyone!! Here's some video:

Pretty cool huh? You'd never know she was ever nervous out there. Trails here we come!!!!

REPOST: Progress in the Park

Updated 7/15: I fixed the video link at the bottom. Everyone should be able to view it now.

Hello ALL!! First, let me get you caught up. For the last 3 months, since drill team ended, we've been forced to work on groundwork because Fiona had an allergic reaction to fly spray and she got some weird rash on her skin. It got really wrinkled at first, then the hair fell out..ugh what a mess. It was VERY itchy. The poor girl, I tried to wash it with a bristle brush and she looked at me with an amount of indignation which I have never experienced, even from another human, much less a horse.

The rash is clearing now, so no long term damage was done. We are going BACK to natural fly spray.

The good news out of all this, is that our groundwork has consisted of some really amazing outings to the park across the street from the barn. For those of you that do not know the history, I came off of Fiona in this park over a year ago while riding off property or the first time. It nearly killed us both...literally. See....
Another bad First for details.

But going out with Fiona on the ground has been nothing short of amazing. It took at least a month for her to even consider calming down outside the barn walls. She was convinced that I had lost my mind and gotten us both lost somehow. Even worse, I continued to do it week after week. It is important to mention that every night before our park outings I would work her hard. This will come up again later.

Her main issue was right as we would get into the park, she would start to circle me in an attempt to herd me back to the barn/horses. Instead of stopping to get her attention at that point, we would just keep walking away from the barn. She would continue to get anxious and we would just keep lunging her until she would get calmer, but she never REALLY settled down.

Finally, after watching a youtube video about how to get a horse to go closer to something they are afraid of while riding, it clicked. I needed to deal with that behavior before we did ANYTHING else in the park. So one day, I took a long whip out with us and as soon as she circled back to the barn, I started smacking the ground and getting after her. As she went away from the barn, I left her alone. Toward the barn, BAD. Away from the barn, GOOD. I am starting to think this is why Tonto was so good with horses. He kept the conversation simple.

Finally after a severe 20 mins argument on this matter, Fiona got it. She began to stand next to me, on the side away from the barn. From there, it was like the dam burst. She walked out of the park, away from the barn to the desert across the street. She walked by my side the entire way.

The game was on!!! Now it was time to start pushing her. The next week, we walked through a neighborhood for the first time. She was amazing. She walked right by my side, looking at everything! The trash cans were definitely shifty, but she dealt with it. The car under the waving car cover was definitely not cool, but she eventually got over that too. Even the giant trash truck, driven by  a human being who clearly thought myself and my trainer were out of our minds, wasn't a big issue. We had to wave the driver by because he was afraid to scare the horse!! now there's a switch!!!

We've practiced crossing the road a few times, which is where we got ourselves in a wreck riding. She was amazing, scared, but amazing. She just puts on her brave boots and marches on.

This is the first time in a long time, maybe ever, that I think this horse might really be able to make a full leap into something that will blow everyone away. I don't know what it will be yet, but I am convinced that she will continue to surprise us!!

Here are some pictures/video of our adventures:

Remember, this is a $550 rescue horse folks.....

 

 

This guy likes to walk his pitbull during our lesson

Apparently, this day it wasn't amusing anymore.

 

 This is where we started.

 

Fiona Chillin' in the park
This is where we are now.

Happy trails!!!!

Success!!!!!!!

After 3+ years of hard work, Fiona and I finally got to compete in the Red Mountain Stables Games AND perform with the Chili Peppers Drill team!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to say, in the days leading up to the big day, I was really ok with the whole thing going to crap. The progress we've made in the last 3-4 months was satisfying enough. We have been riding in the big arena several times a month now (before I was lucky to pull that off a total of 3-4 times EVER). We've ridden with other horses a ton...which we never did much at all before. So, if we got to the day of the games and performance and I got hit by a big tractor trailer truck, I would have died a happy woman.

However, I am SUPER stoked that we did both the games AND the drill team performance. I seriously considered not doing games. I consistently have a "set the bar low" mentality when it comes to working with Fiona. I am SO used to things going wrong that I try to set my expectation accordingly. Instead of going with my standard ho-hum thinking, I pushed through and saddled up around 9am for games. Fiona was nervous, but only a little. She wouldn't stand at all when we started, but she walked instead of bolting like a complete nutjob. So I just let her walk, but kept changing directions. We did some circles and figure-8s until she could stand still.

The games were pretty simple. We had some reservations about going over and between poles on the ground and by "we" I mean Fiona. I just let her look and took things slowly. She never freaked out or bolted.  She did try to evade some things, but I just kept her pointed the right way and let her get over her concerns. We even took second place in the snail race (slowest time wins)..I know that's for the kids, but I am counting it.

We did skip the canter this time, but my goal for next games is to be competitive. It kills me to skip the cantering. I know if we could do it, Fiona would LOVE it. The horse loves to run!!! She'd probably surprise some folks at the stable. She is really fast and she turns on a dime. She would make a killer cutting horse.

Anyway, I digress. Here are some pictures of the games:

 

 

The Drill team performance was AWESOME!!!! It was the best performance the team had done to that point. Fiona only had one issue and that was when she HATED the horse next to her during our pinwheel. She kept pinning her ears, but she stayed in line for the most part. I was super proud of both of us!!!! Here are some pictures of the drill team performance:

 

 

 

I can honestly say, I am having fun doing this!!  I mean I have loved watching Fiona change and get braver in the world, but my experience with the drill team has been TRULY FUN! One of the best things to come out of it is I can finally just show up and ride..without any drama. Saddling her is easier, she likes to go ride and I don't have to warm her up for 15 minutes before we go to work. It's is outstanding! I look forward to lots of relaxing rides after work! :)

Drill team and Unearthed History

Last fall, Fiona and I started taking part in the Chili Peppers Drill Team and the stables where Fiona's apartment (that's what my wife calls it) is. I wasn't certain we could pull it off, even though I've wanted to do it for a while. There are a total of 8 horse/rider pairs in our team and for those not familiar with drill team, the general idea is to ride in coordinated patterns, as a group, to music. The maximum gate of the performance varies based on the skill levels of the riders. We have only done walking/trotting thus far.

I have to say, I am STUNNED by how well Fiona has done with it. She seems to just love it. I mean it is hard to tell what a horse "love" to do. Best I can tell, it is similar to infants...eat, sleep and shit.
She has been extremely calm through the practices. Even when some of the other horses have had moments of we will call it "distress", she is cool as can be. I am kind of floored by how well she is doing.

The last practice, she even kicked a plastic cone and didn't freak out about it. It is like she is a different horse. My theory is that she needed a job, but it needed to be simple enough that we could both do it together with confidence. I have to say, I didn't stary off very confident, but every practice we have that is uneventful...it just gets better and better. She is more cofident and so am I. I think this could really turn out to be a big turning point for both of us.


Here are some pictures:

 

 

 

Ok, so the rest of this post is just going to be a bit of therapy for me...so I won't be hurt if you fall off here. So I had a terrible start with this horse. I didn't know what I was doing or how horses worked, what they really needed, etc. It was awful. I put my trust in the people around me and was ultimately very let down. While I have to believe their hearts were in the right place, it just didn't go well. I lost a lot of money and didn't get much in return. I felt pushed into some artificial timeline of when the horse had to be "fixed". When, really the thing that needed to be fixed was my lack of knowledge and experience. Anyway, I saw one of the people today that tried to help me early on. We've had a major falling out, mostly due to a mistake I made. But seeing her today, I couldn't help but wonder what she thinks about where Fiona and I are today. My immediate assumption was that she believes we are not any further than they day I got her. I think I assumed that because she was one of the folks that pushed an artificial timeline in the first place. She and her father though my horse could be "fixed" in a few months and be a world class trail horse or something. I can safely say, that this just isn't realistic. It can be done for some horses and some riders, but not Fiona and I. We needed time and a lot of it.We needed to understand each other. I needed to learn. The horse is extremely bright and very athletic. She is not your average horse. I know, I know...I am parental bias here, but I have had people TELL me this about the horse. Not just one person, but many different people have said there is something special about Fiona.

 

The reality is, I don't know what this woman thinks about me and my horse and it really doesn't matter. While I want all the folks that have helped Fiona and I to be stunned and amazed at our progress, it really doesn't matter what they think. What matters is where we are and we are in great shape. We have been through hell together and made it out the other side. We will probably have issues in the future and that's ok...we can handle it together. We are a bitchin' pair and both stubborn to no end. We will not give up, we will continue to grow and change together. We will both be better for having one another.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Demise of the Scary White Tarp Thingie

It's been a VERY long time since I've posted. Life has been somewhat out of control, work, more work, trips out of town, and more WORK. UGH. How I managed to use almost 3 weeks of vacation and still not feel rested is beyond me. However, in the midst of all the chaos, I am somehow managed to continue to develop a strong, confident and happy little Polish Arabian mare. Fiona is doing so well, I don't even know where to start. She is calmer than she has ever been. We've started taking her out of the property again (on the ground, I have no desire to die early). She is still very nervous on her outings, but she trusts me and she knows she has to listen, even if her brain is on a million other things.

So on a whim, at one of our lessons, I decided to pull out an hold enemy, the scary white tarp thingie. See my prior blog posts on this topic: Return of the Scary White Tarp Thingie and The Struggle with Strangles,

Well, I am glad to announce that the scary white tarp thingie....is dead. Fiona conquered it. It is no more, it has ceased to be a fear. The first time through it, she literally too a leap of faith. She jumped through it to get to the trainer. It was AWESOME!

Here are some videos of the middle of the process and end result. I am so proud of my girl. She just keeps pushing through. Eventually, she will be damn near fearless. I truly believe that.




This is me walking her through the tarp...for the finale. :)

Operating Close to The Fear Line

The first trainer that really worked with Fiona (I don't use names anymore, learned my lesson the hard way on that one) talked a few times about operating close to "the line" when training horses. "The line" defines the point at which the horse is too frightened and is no longer learning. This trainer said, and I am paraphrasing, that you should operate as close to that line as possible without making the horse go over the line. The reason he gave for doing this, was that if you let the horse try as hard as he/she needs to at their own ideas then it will preserve life in the horse for when they are ready to apply it to our ideas.

I didn't really get that idea when I heard it the first few times, but I just heard it again in an audio interview with this same trainer. The interview covered a lot of topics, some of which I had heard before and this theory about "the line" is the only one that I completely disagree with. I think I get it now but I definitely disagree with it.

The first reason I disagree with it is because, based on my experience this trainer had no idea when Fiona was over the line. Now, bare in mind, I don't know shit from shinola when it comes to horses, even now and I knew way less when this guy was around.  This whole theory is based on the assumption that we know when the horse is close too and below or is over the line. Without an accurate gauge of "the line" you have no shot at making this happen.

The second reason I disagree, is that a high energy horse will operate just under and over the line for a long time. I contend that every time you let the horse get over the line, you lose ground, maybe not a lot of ground but you definitely step backwards. This is when you should employ the idea, "If you take the time it takes you take less time." So let's say you are trying to get a horse in a trailer. If you walk a horse right up to the trailer, even if the horse is pulling away from it, showing definite fear of the trailer, then you've crossed the fear line. You have at least one enemy, in the horse's mind, the trailer. If the horse is already disrespectful and pushy, you have 2 enemies. Now, let's say you took a different approach with the same push/disrespectful horse. Instead of charging right up to the trailer like spartan going to war, you walked just close enough to see that the horse was "concerned" about the trailer, but not yet trying to run you down to get way from it. This distance will vary greatly, depending on the horse. It could be 10 feet, it could be 100 feet.
You still have an opportunity here to teach the horse and have the lesson sink in faster. If you stop at this point and didn't let the horse rest or stare long enough to make the trailer a concern, instead you started moving the horses feet. You can do this in any way you see fit. Make the horse trot circles, try sending the horse and making them yield their hindquarters, anything..just move them. Then the trailer is not the issue, YOU are the issue. The horse has to deal with you...the trailer is benign, just sitting they, but YOU, you are a pain in the butt. As you move the horse's feet, get closer to the trailer and try to give the horse and opportunity to rest. They might take the offer, they might not. If they don't then move them back away from the trailers and move their feet again. Pretty soon, they will be RUNNING for that trailer.
The difference between this approach and operating closer to the line, is that you know the horse never went over the line. They never had a chance, you put them to work as soon as they took their attention off of you.

The third reason I disagree with this approach is that you are always dealing with 2 fear lines, the horse's and the humans. I also figured out, and here's the spooky part, the lines are related to one another. Let's say a new horse owner, owns a horse that has been in a trailer 1000 times and has no issues. However, the human, for whatever reason, is scared to death to be in a horse trailer with 1000lbs animal. Guess what the horse is going to be afraid of eventually. GETTING IN THAT DAMN TRAILER, that's what!!! The upside is, if the situation is reversed and the horse is scared to death of trailers, but the human has a lot of experience trailering horses, then eventually with the right training and work..the horse will move their fear line toward the human's and become less fearful.


My situation with Fiona was truly the worst of all fear line scenarios. We both had very low trigger points for fear. Now you had a trainer to the mix that is encouraging the horse to operate at or above her line ALL THE TIME and then handing that horse to an owner who is terrified. Well that is just a recipe for disaster and that's exactly what we got...disaster. It wasn't until I started operating well underneath my fear line and the horse's fear line that things started coming together. It was frustrating for awhile because I really didn't understand why other people could do things with my horse that I just couldn't. I was physically/mentally paralyzed by fear. It still happens, but now I know. I can lift the fear line and the way to do this is operate below the line until I gain the knowledge/experience to life it.

Buck Brannaman has a great quote about fear. "If fear were represented by a beast, then the only way to slay that beast would be knowledge." Knowledge is the light that shows you, there's nothing to fear. You can always proceed with caution, but you cannot proceed with fear. Going back to the second reason above, if the horse goes over the fear line, he/she stops learning. Without the capability to learn, there can be no new knowledge and therefore the fear line never moves. You must keep the horse, always, well below the fear line and give them knowledge of what you expect from them. They will do anything and everything to please you, and they will still have plenty of life in them, but they have to learn what you want from them first.


Anyway, that's my "expert advice", it's free and probably worth it. :) Cellulitis is still going way, swelling still present but getting better. 

Cellulitis? Are you friggin' kidding me?

So, I got a text message from the barn last Friday morning saying that Fiona was off her food and they were keeping an eye on her. I thought about just going straight to work but instead I stopped to check on her. Just a few hours after I received the text, I was standing at her stall looking at a very swollen left hind leg.

We called the vet and he said she had cellulitis. Cellulitis is a bacterial infection under the skin and I do not recommend trying it at home. Fiona was in a lot of pain and not putting weight on the limb. The treatment is 8 days of anti-biotics (Nexcel), bute 2 times a day and “cold-hose therapy”. I love when vets and medical doctors use jargon. “Cold-hose therapy” means spray he leg with cold water 3 times a day until the swelling subsides. Yes, seriously.

Where do they come up with this stuff?

Anyhow, less than a week later she is nearly back to normal. The leg is still swollen but it appears that 20-30 mins of walking actually helps reduce the swelling. She is walking normally and she is pretty much back to her sassy self today. I didn’t give her bute tonight so we will see how sassy she is in the morning.

She is a trooper though. That little mare is tough as nails. She has been pinning her ears at all the horses around her for 2 days and trying to bite Koa, her stall neighbor, when the other boarders are handing her treats. The first day, after the vet was out, I had to walk her to the washrack to get her first 20 mins of “cold-hose therapy”, and I could tell she was hurting. She was limping real bad and walking so slowly, but she did it. She just followed me right over there.

She has learned to stand in the washracks/tack areas really well. I usually tack up in her stall because it is right near the tack room and then I don’t have to tie her. This turned into a good training opportunity for her. She stood in a really small wash rack for the full 20 mins one time. Of course it helps that the last thing she wants is to have to walk, but even today when was great standing there.

I have to say it is pretty frustrating to have another setback. It is like just when we make good progress we hit another one. She got her first lesson in cantor/gallop just last week. The trainer did 30 mins of canter/gallop transitions which would have tuckered out just about any horse…not Fiona. She was just getting started. God help me.

We are still working through some saddle fit issues. The endurance saddle I got is a great fit for me, but it is too wide in the withers for her. I got a memory foam pad and that helps but the saddle still tends to ride forward. The guy I got it from recommended a crupper (Google it) or to just cinch the front part of the saddle instead of doing a centerfire rigging (again. Google it). I am going to try the front cinching when we start riding again. I don’t think we will go so far as a crupper. I might have to get another saddle. L This is not a hobby for the thrifty.

Anyway, hopefully we will be back to riding next week or the following week.